Surrender

Be ground. 

Be crumbled.

So wildflowers will come up where you are.

You've been stony for so many years.

Try something different.

Surrender.

-Rumi

Millions of people love Rumi as I do. Now this particular writing hits the spot. Since I started practicing yoga, which led to the exploration of and the practice of meditation and prayer, my heart has softened. Now I am getting greedy, I suppose. I want more of this yearning for a spacious, open heart. I want to know how it feels to have the heart of a St Francis, of St Benedict, of Mother Teresa, of Thomas Merton. I want to know how it feels to have such a heart and observe how I would act, talk, walk, think, discern, see, touch, eat, sleep, and wake up. I want to know what they hear in silence, what they see in darkness, what they feel during fearful times. I want to experience the compassion they feel for others. 

I want to be like them. I want to be a saint like them. Not the canonized saints of the Vatican, but the simple, humble, human saint-ness of these beings of light. I want to be loving without asking for anything in return, without wanting to own what I love. I want to be in love all the time with everyone, without holding back, without reservation.

I know this is not impossible because thousands of saints and mystics in all spiritual traditions have done it. It is bold to say this, but I feel and hear the call of the saints and the mystics: Come, sit with us. We'd love to have you here.

What's the call you hear in the quiet spaces between your thoughts? When you close your eyes, and aware of your inhale and your exhale, can you hear the call coming from deep in your heart?

(from Psalm 139)

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

   test me and know my thoughts. 

See if there is any wicked way in me,

   and lead me in the way everlasting.

Amen.