3.10.2009

Any day now.

Ronna was a few days pregnant with Cole when I met her in 2000. I was teaching prenatal yoga. Yes, I taught prenatal yoga. A guy surrounded by beautiful beings with beautiful beings inside them. How close can you get to the Divine?

She attended as part of the prenatal program at Evergreen Hospital. Immediately one is struck by the stature of this lady. Tall, beautiful, with strong yet kind and soft facial features. We immediately liked each other. She liked the words I said during the poses, and she connected with the guided visualizations during meditation. I liked her for the wisdom in her sharing and the authority in her stance. You don't mess with Ronna. But it was obvious she has a heart as spacious as the universe. The image I have of her is of Wonder Woman with her arms on her hips, feet rooted where she stands, but of course, her heart wide open.

During the years, she came to my classes, always complimenting my way of teaching yoga. She was my most vocal fan! Her lively spirit almost hid the cancer cells wreaking havoc in her body.

Fast forward to today. Because of cervical cancer, her health deteriorated. Not without a fight from Wonder Woman. But nature wins most of the time. I saw her today at the Evergreen Hospice Center. What I saw almost floored me. Because she hasn't been eating for the last 12 days, she was reduced to skin and bones. She was sleeping when I came. Eyes half closed, mouth open, breathing in heavily, and after breathing out comes a very long pause. I let my hand rest on her hand. She is warm. 

She'll leave behind a loving husband and 8-year old Cole, whom she loved to death.

Now, I feel sadness, mixed with a little anger. Sadness because a life of joy, hope, optimism, wisdom, and giving is coming to an end. One inspirational being on earth gone. She touched so many lives in the most beautiful, most loving way. A little anger for Cole to not have the other beautiful half of his developing years. 

I also feel joy. For my life to be graced by someone like Ronna is like being visited by an angel of God. How else to describe it? How did I deserve to be visited by a radiant being like Ronna?

I want to come back soon to see her awake. I want to see those eyes talk again. I want to hear her voice one last time. I want to feel her strength through a weak squeeze of her hand. I want to say goodbye to someone I love. And if possible, to be there when she says goodbye with her last exhale.

For you, dear Ronna, the Ancient Psalmist prays:

"I will both lie down and rest in peace;
For you alone, O Lord, make me lie down in safety."

From all those you touched with your verve, with your passion for life-
We love you.


1 comment:

SUNRISE SISTER said...

Roy -

I took your post in my heart to Yoga yesterday and praised Ronna's life in thanksgiving everytime I raised my arms.