Create in me a clean heart, O Lord,
And put a new and right spirit within me.
He looked like Captain Jean-Luc Picard. I sat down in front of him and he caught my hands into his large warm smooth soft hands. Our knees touching, he leaned forward with that gentle grin. His face is so smooth, so open. He squeezed my hands, leaned a little bit more toward me, inviting me to do the same. So my face was just about an inch from his. I had complete trust in him. And I began... Bless me, Father, for I have sinned...
I spilled it. Mostly it's about thoughts. Thoughts that come without warning, without invitation. I asked Captain Picard what to do when these unsavory characters in my mind come running around in my space, like a home invasion. Like a Buddhist monk with a Christian spin, he said: We can not control our thoughts, when and how and what. But when we become aware of it, and we turn away, we give thanks to our God. You are forgiven. Just you being here took a lot of courage. You are blessed to be here. And he placed his large hands on my head and said his blessing. And, wow, I was tingling from my head to my toes.
You can't know how clean I felt. Like a spring rain in the forest. I felt so brand new, so light. As if it's alright to face the world. I am not hiding anything from anyone because I am forgiven. I heard it. I felt it.
A new and right spirit is now within me.
A clean heart you created in me.
My soul dances to your song.
Your light lifts me to your Love.