Non-Violence: My 2010 Vow

This year, I vow to study, explore, practice, and live non-violence. By study and explore, I mean to be aware of my responses to unpleasant events that I am subject to at any moment. I start with myself. It's the Benedictine way: continuous conversion of the heart, one's heart, not any one else's.
By being aware of my responses, I give myself the chance to do lectio on it. By reflecting on it, by accepting its invitation, by noticing the prayer that bubbles from within, by hearing God's voice, then perhaps, I will be blessed with the wisdom and the courage to respond calmly, and peacefully, at any given moment.
Practicing and living non-violence, I start with the body by eating only vegetables, fruits (those are mangoes, my favorite fruit, in the photo), grains, nuts, and legumes. How is that non-violent? Animal products can contribute to a higher cholesterol and blood pressure. I am not lucky enough to be born with high tolerance for animal products. It's also good for planet earth. I'll also be more serious about my exercise routine. At 60 this year, I have to be more vigilant about maintaining muscular strength, balance, and flexibility. I will join a couple of short walking events this year. And oh! Massage, yoga, walking on a sunny day, or on a rainy day like today with my wife.
The body is the temple of the Spirit. It is thankfulness and reverence to be a good steward of this wonderful work of his hand, the word made flesh, of love manifest.

What about you? What are you doing this year to take care of your body, the temple of the Spirit? Can you celebrate with your body, no matter what you or others may think about it?

For it was you 

who formed my inmost parts;

you knit me together 

in my mother's womb.

I praise you for I am fearfully 

and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

that I know very well.

-Psalm 139

Joy Peace Love

Good Grief!

Grief is a river

Constantly flowing, flowing...

Connecting all hearts.

These last few days, grief had been my visitor. And yes, I welcomed them. 

First there was mom's worsening dementia which I witnessed in person when I visited the Bay Area for Thanksgiving. The process of going through end-of-life decisions (where does she live, who will take care of her) took me to a wild spin. Not mentioning... grief.

Then, I went to Memphis to co-lead a workshop involving my book with the other authors of the series Active Prayer. There I heard soul music, visited Graceland where Elvis Lives, and for meditation, I walked the Mississippi River and listened to Old Man River himself. There I saw the Memphis poor and their chronically homeless folks. But this town also showed me soul. They are tender, loving people who live through music and art and food and each other's company. Yes, there is crime. But is that surprising in a poor town?

Then I get an email from a dear friend who is scared because this is the first time in her life she is wondering how she's going to pay for her next month's bills. And last night, a yoga friend whom I haven't seen for 9 years, asked me to jon him for dinner at a pancake house. There he told me the story of how her wife passed away a few days back. He showed me the tattoos she created on his body. Fantastic tattoo artist. I wish I knew her when she was still active. I've been thinking about having a tattoo. 

Grief followed me, called me, emailed me, talked with me, looked at me with teary eyes, and once or twice, with old, tired, blank eyes. I welcomed her to sit by me. I settled myself down to listen. That's the least one can do when one knows not what to do... stay out of the way.

So today, I sat down for meditation. Tears poured. For my mom, for the poor of Memphis, for my economically challenged friend, for my widowed friend. And for all who is suffering in one way or the other. For those in pain, I inhaled the heat of their tears, the shortness of their breaths, the tightness of their hearts. And I breathed out space, light, hugs, smiles. And I chanted "The Lord is my light and my salvation... of whom shall I be afraid" over and over again.

How about you? What is your relationship with grief? Do you try to get busy when grief comes visiting? Or do you pause, sit down, and listen to her stories?

Be Christ! (How-To)

Father, if you are willing,

take this cup from me;

yet not my will,

but yours be done.

-Luke 22

It is easy being Christ in pleasant situations, when everything is going according to plan and expectations. When all is well as far as we can sense.

But how do you practice being Christ in trying situations? I was given what I think is the beginning of an answer last night when I went for a Chinese foot massage. You know, the kind that makes you wince because of the pressure. The guy who massaged me was incredibly strong (or knew how to position his body to exert the right amount of pressure) and he was hitting the right spots in the soles of my feet. At the time it was happening, I resorted to focusing on my exhales. I consciously relaxed my whole body from my facial muscles and my shoulder muscles, my back muscles, all my joints, and especially the muscles he was working on.

Only now in retrospect did I realize that I surrendered to the pressure he was applying to me. By surrender, I meant, the embodiment of, Into Thy hands, I commit my spirit. I softened my muscles, but that starts from the mind and the heart. The space of receptivity opens up, expands, and welcomes the pressure. Metaphorically, welcoming the stranger, the "least of these," the visitors in Rumi's 'guest house.'

For that is when our Christ-consciousness is tried and manifested. Those are the times when I am asked to grow and mature in my Love, my Faith in the Beloved. Those are graced times, when God truly has her loving hands on me. She is somehow saying, I Am here. Feel me. I Am with you. Do not be afraid.

How about you? Can you visualize the hand of the Divine Massage Therapist working on your 'spiritual muscles' when it feels you are in the valley of death? Can you treat those times detoxifying you, cleansing you, like a deep-tissue massage would?

Create in me a clean heart, O God,

And put a new spirit within me.

The sacrifice acceptable to God

is a broken spirit;

A broken and contrite heart,

O God, you will not despise.

-Psalm 51

Be Christ!

Who is my mother and who are my brothers?

Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven

is my brother, and sister and mother.

Mt 12:48-50

Next week I am in the Bay Area with my nuclear family. From Monday to Friday, my wife and I will be with my 80-year old mom, 5 siblings, and numerous nephews and nieces. Being with my family has its joys, and its challenges. So I decided to have a spiritual direction session, well, for spiritual direction.

At the end of my session, my spiritual director said, Be Christ. Use words only when necessary. I lighted up when she said that. Now that's a challenge I will gladly face. The benefits will go way beyond next week. And why not Be Christ in every moment, in every place?

Isn't that why Jesus came to be? For Jesus to show us God's Will and how to fulfill it? For us to be God's Love no matter what, where, and when?

How about you? Where or when do you find it challenging to be Christ and where or when do you find it so easy it feels like you can walk on water?

Surely goodness and mercy

shall follow me

all the days of my life,

and I shall dwell

in the house of the Lord

my whole life long.

-Psalm 23

Return of the Soul

I thank you, O God
Who lives now and forever,
that You have restored to me my soul with mercy;
great is your faithfulness

The above is the Jewish tradition's Modeh Ani prayed as soon as one wakes up. Before one gets out of bed, before the toes touch the floor. Ever since I came across this prayer from the excellent book about traditional Jewish prayer, movement, and meditation Minding the Temple of the Soul, I have been praying it as prescribed.

According to this book, the Code of Jewish Law explains "when a person is asleep, the holy soul departs from his body." I have always asked myself what the soul does when I am asleep. Does God take it to be cleansed, repaired, schooled, taken on field trips complete with roller coaster rides and cotton candies just like a granddad would?

And yesterday, after teaching a Practicing Yoga with Sacred Poetry (by Rumi, Hafiz, and Gibran), I learned another prayer from another book while climbing stairs (Yoga Barn, where I led the workshop, has a flight of stairs): O God, may every step I make take me closer to you. I am confident that it is possible to pray unceasingly. All the time. In all ways.

How about you? How else can you fill your day with prayer in relation to your activities?

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name.
-from Psalm 104

O God, Where art Thou?

Do not disdain your body

for the soul is just as safe

in its body as in the

kingdom of God.

-Mechtilde of Magdeburg

But what do you do if you were violated, abused, raped? Trampled on, reduced to trash, betrayed, emotionally and psychologically murdered?

Such is the challenge of this children's hospital chaplain who bought my book and wrote me for help with her 'kids'? Her clientele are adolescents, mostly girls, who were abused. She wanted body prayer poses for her kids but with some warning. She said her kids can not and will not do poses that exposes the chest, that pushes the pelvis forward, that sticks the tail out, that makes them squat, that asks them to lay down either on their backs or on their tummies.

Just imagine moving within that prison cell. If you can call that movement. It is an emotional and psychological straight jacket. It is like being held back by an invisible electric fence. Venture out, and it will be hell. Stay inside, and it is hell. Imagine living like that.

How about you? What are you afraid of? What past experience holds you back from freedom, from dancing out of sync, from singing out of tune? What makes you cry?

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Why are you so far from helping me,

from the words of my groaning?

O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer;

And by night, but find no rest.

But I am a worm, and not human;

scorned by others, and despised by the people.

O my help, come quickly to my aid!

- from Psalm 22 (NRSV)